Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The End of the World, A love story

Some of you may recall my May 2011 rant/ blog post where I gave readers an invaluable list of items for the impending doomsday that was to have occurred in December of 2011.

"End of the World & Nothing to Wear"

As it were things didn’t quite go apocalyptic and the human race remains a vibrant fixture on planet Earth.

So is life, while our love affair with the end of the world continues.
2012 brings us a whole new perspective on the "end times" as we approach the end of the Mayan calendar
I- phone Photo taken by Hector Siliezar at Chichen Itza in 2009
December 21, 2012 is when the Mesoamerican (read Mayan)”long calendar” supposedly runs out. 
Now I am not an astrophysicist, nor am I an ancient civilization historian, but I do offer a simple observation to 2012’s impending end.
The Mayans checked out a long time ago, don’t believe me?  Travel down to Chichen Itza and poke around the pyramids until you find one, chances are you’re going to be there a while (bumping into a “Mayan ancestor” selling temple snow globes at the gift shop doesn’t count)  
So in a sense the Mayan’s calendar "ran out" quite some time ago.
But I digress…
The apocalypse and end times sells in a big way, “Google” zombie apocalypse and you’ll get 24,100,000 results in (0.22 seconds).
There are even reputable ammunition companies selling zombie ammo, as well as gun manufacturers making “limited edition” zombie killer firearms.

Another prime example of our love for the end times is the wildly popular "Nat-Geo" show “Doomsday Preppers” that has taken “reality” TV to an entirely new and bizzaro level.
David is a Doomsday Prepper  
Imagine my completely blank expression as I listened to a student in a public safety organization explain that these shows offer viable “tips and ideas” in preparation for worst case scenarios.
That’s the logical equivalent to the idea that jumping off a cliff into a freezing river to get to the other side is a good survival tactic because "Bear Grylls said so"….

Ever survival minded, our pragmatic host hurls himself off yet another cliff...
If this next part upsets you, I apologize in advance, but those shows with the “doomsayers” are more of a study in mental illness than disaster preparedness.
Oddities sell, normalcy does not.
I know guys that have bought enough guns to arm a small militia in north Georgia, (fundamental firearms rule #207; you can only effectively shoot 1 firearm at a time).

Your's truly on zombie overwatch...
You want to go buy something, go buy a camp stove, or a good bottle of bourbon.   
Besides, do you really want to be around after a nuclear holocaust or major world ending solar flare? 
“Only the strong survive Steve”, got it, then make room for me in your bunker.
There are so many real world things to be paranoid about, and yet we insist on creating even more phantoms to become pre-occupied over.
Maybe it’s just another form of escapism.
Or maybe "they" are right after all.
History certainly repeats itself and depending on where you look the world has been predicted to end anywhere from 15 to 264 times (unconfirmed).  
And yet here we are in our finite impossibly flawed human glory riding out both fictional and real life storms.(Tornadoes scare the hell out of me, the poles flip flopping not so much) …

And while the world isn't ending (at least not today) this is where I will conclude this post,  besides, I have to get back to my “TiVo ‘ed” episode of Chasing Bigfoot.