And her name was Irene

As the sky became more threatening and the wind began blowing intervals of heavy rain we opened the windows to the house and were greeted with the rising and falling sounds of our strategically positioned wind chimes which would come alive in the gusts in a seemingly synchronistic storm front melody.

The storm’s gusts of wind would move the linen drapes in a way that would seem as if they were dancing to the chime’s melodic notes and we both agreed that the night would be memorable.  

There are but so many things one can do during times of natural phenomenon, you can sit and ponder the “what if’s” or you can embrace the experience.

We are no strangers to nature’s “nuisances” and as such we chose to celebrate Irene’s arrival.  

Feeling hearty and well prepared we opted for a grounded food experience to match the storm’s bravado.

As the weather worsened the unmistakable smell of freshly “made from scratch” potato bread began to waif through the house.   

I don’t pretend to understand the wizardry behind homemade bread, but Ash seems well versed in its culinary alchemy, and within a few short hours piping hot rolls drizzled in Agave nectar made a perfect partner with my Belgian ale.

Long before Irene began showing herself on our coast Ash devised the idea of a grilled hotdog being the perfect complement to an Atlantic Hurricane.

Hotdogs you say, and while I understand your inquisitive scowl, these little bits of Beef parts goodness were divine as are all Hebrew Nationals dogs.

Hotdog sliders; one with broccoli coleslaw, Dill pickles, & Boar’s Head Mustard, with a side of sour Kraut &the other dressed with stuffed jalapeño peppers slices and more kraut.

Phenomenal when paired with grilled sweet potato fries.      

The night was not without its peril and commotion

Anyone who grills in the country knows the danger inherent with attracting the maniacal European Hornet to any light source.

We grill at night under the constant specter of its arrival and the unmistakable buzz of its wings which instinctively makes the hair stand up on one’s neck.

This night was no different, and through the pounding rain and howling wind he arrived…

He seemed more irritated than usual, and his normal quick pass gave way to a frenzied “bounce off the roof” spasm that made me realize I would have to deal with this threat personally.

I sent Ash and the dogs into the safety of the house and picked up my can of hornet/wasp spray.

Fissssssttttt….Direct hit!

WTF?

Fiissssstttt….Hit him again…

Oh, he’s mad now.

Bob…

Weave…

Run to the side of the deck exposed to the storm!

BLAM!!!

Onto my ass I went.

Wet deck boards are slippery as hell mind you.

“This is no ordinary hornet” I thought as I picked myself up from the soaking deck

Back into the house to get my fly swatter, and then out onto the covered deck I went.

Within seconds the Satan spawned hornet from hell was on me like a spider monkey.

Zap!

The basatrd stung me in the cheek!

AAAEEEEEE!!!!!!

I ran flailing back into the house ripping my shirt off convinced that the yellow stripped death dealer had now flown down my collar!

No sympathy to be had as Ash was DYING laughing as she tried to explain just how high pitched my voice went as I screamed bloody murder back into the house.

The storm blew on as we enjoyed our good fortune of not losing power and I couldn’t help but wonder if the National Weather Service keeps statistics on Hurricane induced hornet attacks…

To Weekends Well Lived

Here’s to that classic country play list that you made long ago, and to just how good George Jones sounds echoing through the darkened trees.

Here’s to dancing.

Here’s to the glow of citronella torches and the twinkle of deck lanterns as they cast romantic shadows across teak wood colored planks of my favorite deck.

Here’s to the best food in town, a marriage of work and creativity born in the kitchen, and enjoyed by the candlelight.



Sweet potato puffs w/green onion and goat cheese

Honey and garlic marinaded grilled shrimp

Lump crap cakes

 Here’s to craft beer, and to those who appreciate the difference.

Here’s to red wine and its uncanny ability to make food taste that much better.

Here’s to her.

Here’s to the full moon’s glow, and human powered adventure.

A full moon shines down on the singlespeed after a late evening romp in the woods

Here’s to cool mornings and a cup of strong coffee.

Here’s to the foothills of the Blue Ridge being a stone’s throw away.

Here’s to her good company, and doing it because you can.

Here’s to the weekend, and to times well lived.

Gastro-Diabolical

With my wife’s recent & extended hiatus from food-bloggery I decided to pick up the slack and run with it.

That being said, mine is but a modest blog, I don’t have 20 or so followers waiting for me to post a recipe on Israeli cous-cous or the merits of whole grain everything…Nope, not here.

What I can provide is a first person account of some of the things that are whipped up in our kitchen on a regular basis through words and photos.

It’s actually pretty "old hat" for me in all reality, I was posting about her delicious morsels well before she had the idea to start a foodie blog.

I’m not calling bull s**t on her or anything, I’m just sayin’…

Besides, I reap the benefits daily and as they say, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”.

The plan is to continue with my typical beer parings and even a random appearance of a good red wine.

But don’t expect any yarns about how a fine chardonnay would go with your black rice; After all I’m still a boy…

Tonight’s fare;

Flank steak with tossed salad and grilled potato wedges.

If you want your flank steak tender, marinade it for at least 3 hours in a blend of balsamic and white vinegar, garlic cloves, and Worcestershire sauce. It’s awesome braa!!!

For a cool take on dipping sauce for the taters try a mix of ketchup and Sriracha sauce (add honey for a sweet meets hot combo).

We picked up some local goat cheese for the salad from Lovers Retreat Farm & Dairy during a recent trip to an Urbana Arts Festival. Cool folks indeed.

End of the world and nothing to wear?

So May 21, 2011 has been predicted to be the end of the world as we know it or “TEOTWAWKI” in common survivalist vernacular.

Those "in the know" have said the end will “begin” with a monster earthquake that will rumble through at 6:00pm sharp.

I’m not sure if the quake is supposed to occur on Eastern Standard Time, Mountain Standard Time, or Hawaii-Aleutian Standard Time, but I figured I would set all of my clocks at different times to ensure that I covered all of my disaster time zone bases. (As you can never be too prepared)

While I probably don’t fit the definition of the traditional survivalist, I do have a few “end times' nuggets of wisdom” for people who might not be as well versed or mentally prepared for such calamity.

I should first point out that my survival of the “Y2-K” end of the world scenario is my prerequisite resume to being considered an “expert” on this subject matter.

I also realize that people are looking for an all inclusive list of provisions and while it’s hard for someone of my knowledge base to cover every variable I made this easy to follow guide for what you will need MOST for the end of the world.

1) Contrary to conventional wisdom, dressing for the end times doesn’t need to be a stress filled endeavor.

I suggest something fun and flirty like this “Republic of Jamaica” island T-shirt made with 100% polyester. NOTE: Do not stand too close to lava flows, flame throwers, or open air fires with this piece as it’s all about end time fashion not function and it will shrink wrap the wearer at high temps.

I also prefer a nice pair of shorts over traditional Battle Dress Uniforms (BDUs) like these Patagonia “Thrift Store” shorts, which can be rocked from the golf course to the survival colony that gets established in upstate Vermont after the big shake.

As a side note; I suggest you throw in something camouflaged to complete your ensemble should you want to be taken seriously by other like minded survivalist.

2) You will need a gun…In fact you will need several guns, the more the better, if possible get 2 guns to shoot simultaneously which also builds “survival credo” with the rest of your group. It doesn’t matter if you hit anything; just make a lot of noise to scare off looters, zombies, Para- military wankers, and government troops.

3) Facebook is another must have during the end times as you will invariably build on your ever growing friends list (The amount of request will be predicated on the proximity to fault lines) "200 people like this".

4) A grill, because opossum road kill is always better cooked medium well.

5) Get your hands on as many Starbucks gift cards as possible as they will become the new form of global currency after the quake.

6) Last but certainly not least; pick up the newly released Blue Ray anthology of Star wars. (Chewbacca never gets old)

If it’s not on this list, then you don’t need it.

Cheers to the end of the world! and I will see you on Sunday…